For when you're not sure if it'll make a difference

Don't know about you, but my Magic 8 Ball has always been far less of a useful tool for decision making than my unique definition of a Life Well Lived

Dear Friends,

I don’t know if it will make a difference.

I hear some version of this phrase nearly daily in my work.

I don’t know if that conversation with my partner/boss/friend/family member will make a difference.

I don’t know if networking/updating my resume/applying for those jobs will make a difference.

I don’t know if meditating/exercising/self-compassion will make a difference.

I don’t know if calling my elected official/getting in the streets/boycotting those businesses will make a difference.

What is actually being said is, “I need to know how this will play out before I can decide what next step to take.”

Which is a way of saying, “I need to be able to accurately predict the future before I can feel comfortable in how to be in this now.”

Which set me to wondering recently: The Montgomery Bus Boycott lasted from December 5, 1955 to December 20, 1956. How might those boycotters - the ones walking to work, the ones carpooling to errands, the ones following Rosa Parks’s powerful lead – felt in February when their demands still weren’t met?

In July?

On December 10, 1956?

I don’t know much about much. But I do know a few things:

I know how to turn a random basket of market veggies into mighty fine hippy chow.

I know 95% of the words to The Humpty Dance.

I know about how we humans get in our own way and how to help people do less of that.

And I know that we have full control over failing to bring something to fruition – a project, a dream, a more perfect union. All we have to do is not try.

And I know that when we put our whole arm into something, right up to the shoulder, when we throw in a leg and some ass, too, there’s still no guarantee of bringing that project or dream or more perfect union to fruition.

It is, however, the only path to finding out if we can.

The Saturday before last, I had the good fun of a short and joyful Passover celebration with Theresa, my mom, two of my nephews, and one niece-in-law who will jump right into ridiculousness with us as though she was born to the family.

In case you’re not familiar, Passover is the celebration of the liberation of the ancient Jews from enslavement in Egypt. The seder - the ceremonial meal - often ends with songs and sweets and, for those who imbibe, a bit too much wine.

That’s not where the story ends, though.

The freed slaves then wander the desert for 40 years – it’s a whole thing, not the point of this so I’m going to keep it moving – and at the end, Moses, who is by then wicked old, like blow the curve in a blue zone old, stands on a hill and looks into the promised land, knowing that he’ll never enter. His job was to be the conduit of freedom for future generations.

Dr. King was referencing this biblical passage in his final speech, just hours before his assassination, when he said, “…I’ve been to the mountaintop … I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land…”

Congressman John Lewis echoed this when he wrote in Across that Bridge:

Faith, to me, is knowing in the solid core of your soul that the work is already done, even as an idea is being conceived in your mind. It is being as sure about your dreams as you are about anything you know as a hard fact… Even if you do not live to see it come to pass, you know without one doubt that it will be.

Author David Orr wrote, “Hope it a verb with its sleeves rolled up.”

A Greek proverb says, “A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

I think you see where I’ve been going this whole time.

Do the things now – the things aligned with your dreams, with the life you most want to live, with the world you most want to live in – not because you can guarantee to reach any of those realities but because living toward those realities is the act of aligning with your unique definition of a Life Well Lived.

Do the things now because your Promised Land is important enough to lay the path for others to enter, even if you don’t step foot on that soil.

And remember, friends: Every big adventure happens one small step, one individual decision, at a time.

Go slow.

But go.

With love and gratitude for all you are,
SB

Also connect with me by way of:
Coaching (a way to hear your own wisdom & grow your own skills)
death + stuff (an exceedingly-brief weekday search for more in mortality)
Grief Nooks (15-minute silent gatherings to be with, together)
All Up In It (conversations from the thick of learning)
Humaning (zines about human things)